


Oh Joy by Sideburns

by alyjude_sideburns



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:07:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyjude_sideburns/pseuds/alyjude_sideburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel wakes up and doesn't know where he is, but he's not alone. A meaningless fluff of a story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh Joy by Sideburns

**Oh Joy by Sideburns**

 

 

The poem came to him unbidden.

"Oh Joy to wake  
Oh, Joy in the morning to wake  
after innocent sleep, the heart eager  
to embrace the day, this joyful day...."

Daniel'd always hated that poem. He rolled over and bumped into the body next to him. Huh-oh. The individual turned as one pale arm crept out from under the blanket. A long slender hand brushed pale red-gold hair from a lovely wrinkle-free forehead as a pair of sleepy green eyes opened.

"'Morning, Daniel."

"Uhm, good morning ... Joy."

A sweet smile was his reward, and the same hand that had brushed silky hair away, now reached for him. He moved back slightly and pretended to find the small clock on the bedside table utterly fascinating. When he felt her hand on his shoulder, he pushed back the sheet, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. He sat down immediately.

Naturally he was naked. As the proverbial jaybird. Did jays come in this particular color of embarrassed red?

"It was a wonderful night, Daniel."

Without turning his head, and with eyes frantically searching the floor and furniture for his clothing, he nodded. "Yes, yes... er, uhm, it certainly was." Now if only he could, A; find his clothes, and B; remember last night, he'd be in very good shape. Maybe.

"Don't I have some clothes around here somewhere?" he asked with some hesitation.

"Pants on the floor in the kitchen, shirt on top of the fridge. Oh, and your shoes are in the dryer. I don't remember why, though."

"Dryer? As in clothes dryer?" he asked, shocked.

"I think so. We were a little... overeager... last night," she purred as she stroked a hand down his bare back.

As if struck by a staff blast -- and heartily wishing that had been the case -- Daniel shot to his feet, spotted the blanket on the floor and used it to wrap himself up in.

"Isn't it a little late for such modesty, Daniel?"

God, he hoped not.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm a ... modest guy."

Sitting up, the sheet pooling at her slender waist, Joy said silkily, "You shouldn't be, Daniel. Not after last night."

She raised her arms over her head and stretched like a long, sleek, jungle cat. Daniel found his gaze fixated on her upper torso and knew damn well that his skin was growing more red by the moment. He really needed to look away. Really, he did. Now. Any second now.

Fuck.

He was so weak-willed. And such a god-damned man.

He thought of another chest... a broad chest, with a dusting of chest hair, and smiled. Joy might have a great set, but damn, there was another 'set' he'd much rather be staring at right now.

He was such a god-damned man. A heteroflexible man.

His grin faded as he realized that he wasn't seeing that other chest, and that he didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of ever seeing that chest in similar circumstances.

He really needed coffee. NOW.

As he stumbled from Joy's bedroom and into the hall, he wondered why he couldn't have ended the evening with Jack. He also wondered how his friend had fared with the fair Evelyn. He also swore that he'd NEVER go out with Jack again, let alone in order to 'get lucky' as the bastard had teased him with.

"Aw, come on, Danny. How long's it been now? Six months? You need to get laid, my friend."

So it had been TWO years, but who the hell was counting? Well, apparently Jack, just not accurately.

What had become of his life that getting laid and waking up in bed with a gorgeous woman was a nightmare, while waking up with Jack was the dream?

Too many hits by those damned ribbon devices. Yeah, that was it.

As he walked toward what he assumed was the living room, his foot caught in the blanket and before he could say, "Jack, get me out of this", he was headed for the ground -- face first.

[][][][]

"Danny? Can you hear me? Come on, Daniel, I absolutely refuse to tell Janet that you were injured yet again, let alone at my house, while wearing nothing but a fucking blanket. Not that you don't look good in nothing but a blanket, because you do, although, you look way better in the 'nothing' part...."

Daniel frowned. The voice was most definitely not silky, purring, or feminine. It was, given his current headache, rather... annoying. Grating even.

"Danny? You frowned which means you can hear me so just open up those beautiful blues and I'll be a happy camper."

Beautiful blues? Okay, the voice was no longer grating. Damn fine voice, in fact. Sounded a whole hell of a lot like Jack's, come to think of it.

Daniel opened his eyes.

"Jack?"

"None other. Think we can get you standing?"

"For crying out loud, I only tripped. Of course I can get up."

"Gee, not a morning person, are we?" Jack said as he straightened and waited for Daniel to rise.

"Har-har," Daniel said, still unsure of what was real versus a dream. He gathered the blanket around him and got rather unsteadily to his feet. Once up, he added, "See? Been doing this kind of thing for years."

"That's my Danny, can't keep him down."

Jack moved close and reached out with his right hand. Daniel immediately stepped back. Jack dropped his arm, frowned, then turned with a shrug and said, "I'm guessing we could both use some coffee."

Stunned, Daniel watched his friend, his naked friend, walk away from him.

Who knew that Jack O'Neill was so... unencumbered... by his nakedness?

[][][][]

Daniel remained in the hall, unsure of what to do. The side of his face hurt like the dickens and he was expecting Joy to pop up any minute. If only his mind would steady and allow his memory to kick in... to tell him why he was here, in Jack's house, naked, clutching a blanket, with no Joy in sight.

Maybe he'd been captured by Goa'ulds, and was... was....

He needed coffee.

He could smell it now, tantalizing, begging him to imbibe. Who was he to refuse?

Daniel wrapped the blanket around his waist, and with a few swift moves, secured it. With head held high, he marched into the kitchen.

[][][][]

"How 'bout some toast?" Jack asked without turning around.

"I could eat," Daniel said as he sat down at the table. Jack's voice seemed different, less somehow, and it bothered Daniel, but since he still didn't know if this was real or another version of the earlier dream, he kept his mouth shut.

A couple of minutes later, Jack was sliding a small plate of buttered raisin toast and a mug of hot coffee in front of him. He went back to the counter, retrieved his own plate and mug, then took the seat next to Daniel. They proceeded to eat and drink in silence.

When the last of Jack's toast was gone, the older man looked over at Daniel and said, "So... I take it we're pretending that last night never happened, right?"

Daniel was just taking a sip of his coffee when Jack spoke and he was immediately glad the drink was no longer hot. It ended up spewed all over the still naked Jack.

"You know, Daniel," Jack said as he stood up. "If you didn't like the coffee, all you had to do was say so. Although, it happens to be your favorite blend, so excuse me if I'm a bit surprised."

"I...I...you, last... night, and..."

Jack wiped himself down as he said, "So it wasn't the coffee?"

"I...I...you, last... night, and..."

"So we aren't going to pretend that last night didn't happen?"

"I...what _did_ happen last night?"

Jack tossed the towel that he'd been using to wipe off the coffee and turned slowly to face his friend. "Now Daniel, I know for a fact that you only had one beer and one glass of wine, so don't go trying to convince me that last night passed in an alcoholic haze, okay? You were very conscious, very aware and took command in a manner that told me you'd wasted precious years as a civilian. You're a born five star general in the bedroom."

"I...."

"Daniel, do you or don't you remember last night?"

Jack was standing in all his glory -- and Daniel had to admit, there was a whole hell of a lot of glory -- his expression communicating exasperation, humor, and not a little fear. This beat any Goa'uld moment of the last five years.

"Jack, when I woke up... or rather, thought I'd awoken, it was to find myself in a strange bed, with a sexy, stacked redhead named Joy, and wishing I'd awakened in a bed with a sexy brown-eyed colonel with chest hair. I got up and away from her as fast as I could, went out into the hall, which, now that I think about it, looked a great deal like your hall, whereupon I apparently tripped, only to wake up to a naked Jack, so could you give me a break here? Obviously I'm a little confused."

Jack arched an eyebrow as he retook his seat. "Joy was one of the women we almost hooked up with last night. Along with a willowy blond named--"

"Evelyn. We went out together because you were trying to get me--"

"Laid. We connected with Evelyn and Joy, only Joy started getting a little fresh in the booth, she had her hand on your--"

"Crotch under the table, and you got--"

"Madder than hell and decided right then and there that the only person who was going to lay--"

"Me would be you."

"Ah, you're remembering now," Jack said with some satisfaction.

"Oh, yeah, I remember, and I think we'd better stay clear of Joy and Evelyn in the future. They'd probably give Hathor a run for her money in the revenge department."

"Hey, I was subtle about it, a real gentleman."

"Somehow I don't think, 'Listen, you Mata Hari wannabe, get your manicured hands off of him before I--"

Jack held up both hands in surrender. "All right, all right, I lacked a certain degree of finesse, so sue me. I only had your best interests at heart."

"You had my dick at heart, Jack."

"Well, yeah. So sue me."

Daniel smiled a soft, warm, inviting smile. "I don't think a law suit is even close to what I'm wanting to do right now. My memory is still a little... vague, so maybe you'd be willing to help refresh it?"

With surprising alacrity, considering the knees, Jack jumped to his feet, saluted smartly, and said, "Sir, yes, Sir!"

Once again Daniel found himself with a front row seat to Jack's retreating ass. He enjoyed it for a moment, then got up and followed.

'Oh joy, he thought.

'Oh Joy to wake, Oh, Joy in the morning to wake after innocent sleep, the heart eager to embrace the day, this joyful day...."

He'd always loved that poem.

The End

 

  
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This story archived at <http://www.thealphagate.com/viewstory.php?sid=237>


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